The Realities of Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms: Pros, Cons, & Everything In Between

Let’s get real for a minute, mommaz.

Motherhood is hard. Period! It doesn’t matter if you’re juggling deadlines in an office or chasing a toddler around your living room all day—being a mom is the toughest, most rewarding, most exhausting job there is.

I’ve walked in both pairs of shoes. I’ve been the stay-at-home mom (SAHM) who thought she’d lose her mind from the isolation & monotony, and I’ve been the working mom who felt like she was constantly failing her kids, her marriage and her job. And let me tell you, neither path is easier.

Yet somehow, instead of cheering each other on, we’ve fallen into this trap of making it a competition. SAHMs feel judged for not “contributing financially,” and working moms feel shamed for “choosing” their careers over their kids. It's exhausting, and honestly? It needs to stop.

The Pros and Cons of Both Worlds

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I got to be there for every milestone. First words, first steps, first tantrum over a blue cup instead of a green one—you name it, I was there. It was beautiful and fulfilling, but it was also lonely. There’s no “clocking out” as a SAHM. It’s 24/7, with no lunch breaks or water cooler chats. And let’s be honest: a lot of days felt like I was drowning in laundry, dishes, and self-doubt.

As a teacher and a working mom, I rediscovered a piece of myself that I thought I’d lost—my passion for helping others, my creativity in the classroom, and my ability to problem-solve in ways that went beyond *“how do I get this toddler to nap?”* But the guilt was (and sometimes still is) overwhelming. I’d miss my own kids’ school events because I was busy preparing for someone else’s, come home too drained to fully engage in playtime, or rush through bedtime stories because there were papers to grade and lessons to plan. The mental load of being “on” for my students and then “on” again at home often felt like an impossible balancing act.

The Truth We Don’t Talk About Enough

Here’s the thing: Both stay-at-home moms and working moms are making sacrifices. We’re all doing the best we can for our families, and the choices we make are deeply personal.

There’s no “better” way to be a mom. There’s just your way. The one that works for you, your kids, and your family.

But what if we spent less time comparing and more time supporting each other? What if we stopped judging and started listening?

Because the truth is, we’re all in this together. Whether you’re managing the chaos of the house or rushing to make it to extracurricular activities after a long day, we’re all juggling a million things at once. Each of us is doing the best we can, and that deserves to be recognized.

Let’s Choose Kindness Over Comparison

To my fellow moms: It’s time we stop pretending that one path is easier or more noble than the other. Whether you’re at home full-time, working outside the house, or balancing it all, we’re all doing our best. Instead of judging or side-eyeing each other, let’s offer a smile and start a conversation. Instead of comparing choices, let’s ask, *“How can I support you?”*  

We’re all trying to raise good humans while staying sane, and some days that feels like a monumental task. But what if we also started taking care of ourselves in the process? It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget about our own needs. But when we support one another, we create space for self-care and compassion—both for ourselves and for others.  

Motherhood is messy, beautiful, and hard. And it’s a lot easier when we lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. Let’s make kindness and connection our focus, because we’re all in this together. 💖